Why Are We Compelled to Read Online Posts That Attack Us

The issue of suicide within the rescue community is an ongoing concern that affects many, yet remains a topic shrouded in silence.

Recently, we experienced the heart breaking loss of Mikayla Raines, a dedicated fox rescuer whose kindness and contributions touched countless lives.

In her memory, I shared a tribute on our X account. However, I was disheartened by some of the comments that followed.

The comments suggesting that she should have taken herself offline or ignored the remarks, while somewhat valid, overlook the complexities of the situation.

Many rescue organizations depend heavily on maintaining active communication with donors and supporters through online platforms. Additionally, generating content is often crucial for monetization, which in turn keeps their operations running.

While it might seem like a simple solution for someone else in the organization to assume her role, human nature inherently draws us to read negative comments about ourselves.

This compulsion makes it difficult to completely disengage from online interactions, especially when one's role is tied so closely to digital engagement and communication.

Threat detection is an evolutionary reflex. Our brains are wired to detect threats. In the wild, missing a threat could cost us our lives, so evolution shaped us to pay closer attention to danger than to comfort. Today, threats are rarely physical, but they persist socially and psychologically.

When someone attacks our beliefs, identity, or values online, our brain often interprets it as a threat to our social standing or self-concept. This activates our limbic system—the part of the brain responsible for emotion and survival instincts—making it nearly impossible to look away.

Social media blurs the line between our personal identity and our public persona. When someone criticizes us or our “tribe,” it feels personal—even if it's directed at a group we belong to rather than us individually.

This triggers a need to defend, explain, or correct the narrative. Before we even engage, we read the entire post carefully to assess the damage. We scan the comments. We try to understand: What exactly are they saying about people like me?

Psychologists call it negativity bias—the human tendency to focus more on bad experiences than good ones. A thousand affirming posts can drift by unnoticed, but one hostile or mocking comment grabs our attention like a flashing red light.

Online platforms, designed to maximize engagement, often amplify this effect. Posts that spark outrage, division, or controversy tend to perform better in algorithms, meaning we’re more likely to encounter—and dwell on—content that provokes us.

There’s a seductive quality to outrage. It feels active, energizing—even purposeful. Reading a hostile post may begin as a passive act, but quickly transforms into a mental argument: How can they believe that? What should I say in response? Should I reply, report, or just screenshot this?

We trick ourselves into thinking our reaction might change something—that we’re engaging for the sake of justice, clarity, or truth. Often, it’s just an emotional loop we can’t easily break.

Sometimes, reading attacking posts isn’t just about reacting individually—it’s about collecting material to validate our group’s worldview. When we share these posts with others who agree with us, it reinforces group identity through shared indignation: “Look what they are saying now.”

This dynamic can become addictive. It feeds tribalism while further entrenching echo chambers and hostility.

So, What Can We Do About It?

Understanding why we’re drawn to online attacks is the first step toward regaining control. Here are a few suggestions:

• Pause before reading: Ask yourself, Is this worth my energy?

• We all respond differently I know, but for me this has become my main way of tackling online abuse. Most of the abusive comments come from the ill-informed & uneducated. Sometimes a response which explains is healthy, positive & welcomed. But not always. I evaluate & respond appropriately. Sometimes ignoring is the best thing to do.

• Set boundaries: Limit how much time you spend in hostile digital spaces.

• Practice digital hygiene: Curate your feed to reduce exposure to inflammatory content without creating a bubble.

• Choose your battles wisely: Not every provocation deserves a response. And there are times when passing on the provocation to a lawyer is the best thing to do. After a particularly nasty encounter with someone I thought of as a friend we are now heavily insured against vicious attacks. That incident was particularly brutal as it was a betrayal of trust & affection.

Most importantly, remember that attention is power. Where we direct our attention shapes our mood, our day, and even our worldview. Every moment we spend locked into a hostile post is a moment we could have spent on something more nourishing, constructive, or meaningful.

If you are struggling please reach out for help. I am part of a supportive system whereby rescuers are there for each other. No judgement, just understanding, trust & a will to support each other through the hard times.

Thank you for reading this, I plan on writing some more about this subject so please keep an eye on my blogs.